The recent hype of fancy dinner, chocolate, flowers, and new colour on instagram's feed got me thinking.
How many of us still shallowly believe that Valentine day is not complete without your so called significant other?
How many of you ever think about why it's so easy and quick for some people to find new boy/girlfriend but it always seem impossible for ourselves?
I'm not writing this just because of the fact that I haven't found mine, I'm writing this based on the realisation that we are just as complete and whole with or without our significant other.
If you have no boyfriend/girlfriend yet, it's okay.
Really, it is okay.
No matter how old you think you are right now, with every single people in your circle posting the way they spent their valentine day, not having a boy/girlfriend is not your fault.
It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.
It doesn't mean that you are not worthy to be loved.
It doesn't mean that you are less than special.
It doesn't mean that you have to change anything to attract more attention.
It doesn't mean that you cannot make the most of your life this day onward.
If anyone understand what it felt like to be under the constant pressure of the question "when will you have a boyfriend", one of those person must be me and maybe you.
For you guys out there, struggling with the same question, starting to doubt on your worth, let me remind you.
You are loved.
There exactly is nothing wrong with you. You can go and enjoy your life without constantly worrying about finding the one. What we can do for now is of course pray, and try to be a better version of yourself each day. One day ladies and gentleman, it will just happen that you find someone perfect.
Remember that you already are complete and whole as a human being even when you haven't got a boy/girlfriend. Anyway, having boy/girlfriend in this age (20ish) is not just a game anymore. Here comes the time when the relationship need to be more serious and forward looking - to marriage.
And this is the most important thing that I want you girls to know,
1. If your friends tell you that boys can't handle smart girl, don't act dumb or worse wish that you are not smart, ever. You are meant only for great guys.
2. If they tell you that you are too dominant that men will be afraid, screw them. God created you with dominant trait for a purpose and that's not too bury it under the society's expectation. We all need to treat everyone with respect and act with proper manner knowing our place well, that I agree on. However, to wish that we are born differently and shutting out potential in the name of not making men afraid are so wrong.
3. If people tell you the reason that you haven't got a boyfriend is because you are too independent, the mistake is with them and not you. You are not going to be weak and you are not going to be act like you are less independent than you are today for other people. In fact, in any relationship, the two individuals must first understand that they are complete, whole, and full before they can suit each other well. You are not supposed to depend on anyone. Relationship should be both parties helping each other to be better and better instead of having the girls being weak and over dependent to the boys.
The point is, if they don't go after you, it ain't your fault. They are just not the right ones.
Aside from everything that I just mentioned above, there's nothing wrong with doing self introspection on your own. There bound to be lots of things that we all can improve. Just don't take what others say for granted. Always be wise in dealing with criticism and ask Him for the wisdom to understand which criticisms are constructive and which aren't.
In conclusion fellas,
DO NOT EVER DIM YOUR SHINE in the name of attracting more people.
Shine bright so that only those who shine as brightly and are worthy of your shine will have the honour to hold your hand.
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