Trapped

The sudden sound of ringtone brought me back to earth with the tap water still running and a girl staring back at me through the mirror inside a bathroom.  Took me several more seconds to realize that I was in the café’s bathroom I visited all by myself just because I did not feel like being at home nor at class. Phone still vibrating inside my jeans pocket, I moved to turn off the faucet, dried my hands a bit by shaking them, and picked my phone up before sliding the screen.

“Where the hell are you, Mace? You do know that we’ve got a presentation in like less than 30 minutes, don’t you? Gosh, you forgot, didn’t you? Nope! I don’t want to hear it. Just come here A.S.A.P!” and the line went off just like that, typical Kaitlyn.

I’ll be there. I found myself typed and hit sent - not really thinking about how I was gonna be back in school that fast when the café I am currently at is one hour walk away. One thing for sure, I must start by getting out of this bathroom, paid my bills, and just see where life led me next. So I did just that. Only before I reached the third part, stepping out from the door, the door was opened from another side by an all too familiar face.

“Macy? It’s been too long.” Too long for you, never too long for me I thought to myself. I did not know where I found the decency to answer him though.

“I know right. Hi, Jace. I’m in a rush so I’ve got to go.” I told him in a bit too fast tempo. However, I did not move fast enough, he grabbed my waist and I couldn’t find it in me to move anymore. I knew what he did. I wished for nothing but to not know but I just could not undo what I’ve known. So this was what I’d been doing. I’d just keep away my distance for him and looked for as little thing to do with him as possible.

“Where are you going? I can drop you off” he offered and since he brought his Honda I knew that this was the best chance I got or Kaitlyn would kill me. Knowing that I was heading to his girlfriend, Jace got no problem to take me to school. I opened the door to passengers seat of his car, sat down, fastened my seatbelt and there it was – right where it always positioned – a picture of Kaitlyn and Jace, smiling happily in a beach as if nothing could ever go wrong in this world. The two had been together for years. 4 years to be exact. Which was why I had no idea how things could turn out to be like this for people who had shared everything for that long of a time.

22 minutes later, we finally arrived after I put effort in pretending to be engaged in his conversation out of respect even when all I can think about are that his words meant nothing. I said my thankyou and rushed to where my next class was gonna take place in – which was by the way on the third floor and the elevator was super crowded that I took the stairs.

“Where were you?” Kate asked while making sure that I could witness the annoyances in her expression. However, there was something else that caught my attention. Her left eye was a bit bruised and the attempt to hide it under concealer was quite obvious. I knew the typical answer that I would receive but I did ask anyway.

“I’ll tell you if this time you answered me honestly what happened to your eye, Kate,” that got her silenced up and she retreated to re-memorize her part of presentation and I decided that it was not the time to chase her and followed her to do the same instead.

This was definitely not the first time. Not the first time she got some bruises in her face and in her wrist. It was also not the first time I helped her make up some lie because Jace did not believe her about petty things like where she was or who she was with. Not the first time I felt helpless when she called me in the middle of the night after a fight with him in sob and tears.

At one time, it was bad. So bad that she got hospitalized due to dehydration and fatigue after finding out that he had been cheating with his colleague. I used to think that falling sick for something like that was such a cliché as well but when I saw it with my own eyes what something like that could do to a woman’s fragile soul, it broke my heart. And yet she clung on after every meaningless “I am sorry” coming out from his devious mouth. Sometimes I just could not understand and there were times where I wish I could just smack her head so she woke up or something but I couldn’t, could I? Nevertheless, the teacher had come in to the class and lucky me my group was called first. And so there we went.

Presentation was mundane. Your first ever presentation must be interesting and full with jitters but after probably 20 times, you just got used to it. Having to sat through for the next 45 minutes waiting for 5 teams to present was a good quiet time for me to think about what to do next about my dear friend who’s gonna be destroyed even further if she stayed in the relationship.

“I got a ride from Jace earlier by the way,” I told Kaitlyn who was sitting right next to me while tuning out the presenter in front.

“Oh really? I thought he was at work. Well,” same old story.

“Was he drunk last night, Kate?” I couldn’t help but asked the question I probably shouldn’t because the next answer she gave me didn’t give any openings for me to talk further.

“Let’s just not talk about it today. Thanks for asking. Anyway really, where did you go earlier?” The girl who had known me for 7 years knew something was not right when I ditched class. That’s the thing! She has always been there for me. She understood and she comforted me in my darkest time. However, no matter how much I wanted it, I couldn’t seem to help. Not even when she was trapped in this poisonous relationship. Maybe because I just did not understand. I tried, though. Hell knew I tried seeing it all from her perspective but which part of being physically hit, verbally abused, and cheated on, then receive an I am sorry note with some sweet gifts every next day made sense? It was killing her slowly.

It did not use to be like this, you know. 4 years ago, Kaitlyn and Jace got together was the highlight of my days. They had been this sweet sweet couple that supported each other through the good and the bad as if the world had nothing to throw at their way at all. They were perfect. Too perfect. One day, after a summer break when I spent 2 weeks abroad with my families, I got back and directly catch up with Kaitlyn in our usual place – like we always do after spending moments apart from each other. That was when she first told me stories that revealed the bad part of the relationship. I had felt like a fool for not knowing and believing in all the sugar coat on top. There was my best friend, 3 years into her relationship and suffocating inside it.

I did not know what changed, no tragedy, no death, no nothing. Nothing life-changing happened that would change a person – or so I thought. Nothing other than the fact that Jace slowly grew closer to this specific group of people he had found while doing his hobby – playing billiards.  Not that it was a bad thing, but he slowly changed. He became this over possessive boyfriend that can’t seem to trust Kaitlyn. (This was how I learned the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people and having a good community for your soul) Somehow, Kaitlyn was never enough anymore for him. Not pretty enough, not putting on enough effort to please and entertain him, not having enough time to spend with him, not sacrificing anything enough, not fun enough to be around with, not telling him her whereabout enough, and the list goes on. Just like that, one moment he changed. What started as incredulity, soon turned to irrational interdiction that turned to physical and verbal abuse as a form of anger lash. At least that’s what I learned from Kaitlyn’s story. Well, some people say that people never changes. Instead, time just got through all the mask and they eventually reveal who they were all along.

The problem was, Kaitlyn believed him. She then spent her days trying so hard to be who he had wanted her to be but never able to satisfy that. She stopped hanging out with other friends, stopped eating at times that the loss of weight was clearly apparent, stopped being happy and full of life, stopped being herself.

Nope, you don’t read it wrong. You’re right. I’m just as clueless as you as to why Kaitlyn stayed. Why she didn’t just break him up or do something for herself, for once. When I think about it, she had always been this kind of person who think that whatever doesn’t kill you make you stronger. But that was not really how the saying goes, was it? Kaitlyn was not weak. No, she was independent and always took care for her friends in need. She was one of the kindest person I know, one that would always put other people’s need above her. Bit by bit, though, Jace was taking away all the light, life, and self-love from her. As to why did the universe torture her to be with someone like Jace, I couldn’t seem to comprehend. It was not that I never asked her about it. I asked a million times and from all the attempts, I never reach a conclusion. Maybe, herself too did not know.

What I learned was that she felt the need to be a good companion for Jace as he had been for her (debatable) and she believed that forgiving meant just to forget and not consider what he had done as wrong anymore. She had told me once that deep down, she wished to show how true love is for Jace so that one day he would return.  I know how stupid it sounded, but little by little, I realized that it was just not easy  for her. She had been corrupted. She had lost her identity and part of her was hanging on a little too tight. Maybe she was afraid of leaving him. Afraid that without him, she would not be complete. Maybe she thought that she couldn’t live without him and she forgot how just as beautiful life was before she met him.

Heaven knows I tried over and over again to put some senses into her whenever I got the chance. I tried it all, talking to her softly, bringing up quotes and even bible verses, and even raising my voice at her to stop this delusion, all useless. I’ve started to think that what I did or did not do won’t matter and I had accepted the fact that maybe all I could do was to listen to her whenever she decided to open up and prayed for her. That was when I realized that I should just avoid Jace altogether before I kill him. That last part - the praying for her, not the killing - I never gave out hope for. That’s the least I could do for her, every night before I sleep. But hey, here I was sitting in my desk in a classroom I was too familiar with, so close yet so far from my best friend.

The bell, signalling the end of class rang. What a happy sound in the end of eighth period. I was packing up my things when suddenly the weirdest thing that universe could ever describe happened.

“Mace, I am ending the relationship. It’s over”, I looked blankly at Kate, I couldn’t believe my ear. Was I imagining things.

“It’s over. Jace and I? I’m done with it” she said it so casually as if this was not the most incredible thing that could happen for her. I lost all my words and I just hugged her. I hugged my best friend so tight like I hadn’t meet her in a long-long time and tears of joy and gladness wet my cheeks.

“You’re gonna be okay Kate, I am sure of it. I am so proud of you and I love you, bestie”. I meant my every word. I knew how much of a courage it took to finally decided to break the chain. Then we walked out of the class, heading towards new beginnings and promising ourselves to not dwell in the past.

                                                                        The End

Hey there readers!

Thank you very much for reading this short story. 

Believe me when I said writing this story is not easy as I am currently praying for my best friend to love herself enough once again.

I just want you girls to know that you are never trapped in one bad relationship.

If you know it’s not healthy and it has somehow for any reason had turned into a toxic one, be courageous to step out of it.

I might not know your story, but I do know that you will be fine without him.

He does not control your life.

You have the authority to decide what to do with your life and share it with whomever you deem worthy while being responsible with this beautiful gift of life God has granted you.

And if like me, you are currently praying for someone dear, don’t give up!

He is listening to your prayers and His timing is always perfect.

In the end, I’d love to say my gratitude to special friends that encouraged me to finish this first ever short story that I made alone.

Thank you all!